Straight out of the gate

This is my first post. Not quite sure what I am doing here but feel led to put into words thoughts that I have had in the past. I cannot understand why or how or what difference this will make. I suppose this is beyond my understanding. Here is a quick excerpt of who I am if you missed the about me section:

A remarried mother of three. I was pregnant at 17, married at 18, pregnant again at 20, divorced at 26, pregnant at 29, remarried at 30. My husband and I work a full-time job and he also is in the National Guard. As a married couple, we survived one mobilization to Kuwait and Saudi Arabia. He returned weeks before the lockdown for COVID. Praise the Lord. These last 20 years have been more of a rollercoaster than I could ever imagine. My faith has been tested on countless occasions. And the results of this rollercoaster turned out better than I could ever imagine.

With that being said, I’ve always had a question that has weighed very heavily and has always felt unanswered. Why were we created? I know not to ever question my faith in God and truthfully I completely believe 100% in God but there is a part of me that can’t help but compare it to puppets in a play or pets with an owner like it is for entertainment. Which isn’t even a necessity for Him. So, why? Did he ‘wake up’ one day and say, “Hey, I’m bored. Let’s create a ‘world’ and create beings who are imperfect that I’m going to have to sacrifice and save time and time again. One’s that I want to continuously know me but on a completely different level.” This question has felt unanswered to me for years but I am ready to grow in my faith and hope someone else has questioned this as well.

I’ve been raised to just have faith and I’ve not ever recognized anyone I could confide in to ask such a silly question. But if I want to ‘talk’ to God and listen to Him then I must find answers through any means necessary. Is this just the devil inflicting doubt inside of me or is it something much more? I want my three children, my husband, my ex-husband, my parents, and my friends to see the change happen inside me. I want to be one of those people that is so engulfed with the Holy Spirit that it is obvious to everyone around. Someone who isn’t afraid to help someone in their walk or pray with a stranger. I want to be who God wants me to be. But how can I be with this one simple unanswered question, why did God create us?

Will I be punished for thinking such a thought? I pray not. I pray for forgiveness for thinking such blasphemy, to begin with, but if we don’t ask the ‘not so easy’ or ‘politically correct’ questions, how will we ever learn or grow? We are taught at a very young age to ask lots of questions sometimes too many but nothing will ever come from staying silent and just going along because that’s the way it has always been done.

This is what I have learned so far. In Genesis, it speaks that God first created the heavens and earth, then came light, and day and night. Next, He created the vault to separate the sky from the waters. And then came land, vegetation, moon, stars, and the sun. Finally, animals, living creatures, and mankind in His image. So it says, that man was given rule over every living creature and he was created to work the ground. Women were created to keep men from being alone and to be a helper suitable for them. Then came the serpent, the devil, in an attempt to destroy everything God worked so hard to create. Now I know God has no control over the devil but my understanding is God already knows what is going to happen before it ever happens since He has a plan laid out just as He did for Adam and Eve. The only reason behind the creation of man from these verses was to work the ground.

Proverbs 16:4 states, “The LORD has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble.” Various scriptures also state things along the lines of, “The Lord hath made all things for himself…” and “…all things were created by him, and for him…” and “…for You have created all things, and for Your pleasure, they are and were created…” These scriptures lead me to believe He wants to share in His glory and all His love. He did not need us. He was not lonely. He is not ego fed. We were created to enjoy everything God has to offer. It’s like when we want to have a child. Why do we have children? Why do we want children? Someone to love? Someone to carry on our legacy? Someone like us? Jeremiah 31:3 says, “I have loved you even before I met you.” Similar to when you’re pregnant, you love the child unconditionally regardless of their looks, faults, and actions even before you meet them.

I am going to end it here for now. I have so many more questions and conclusions to discuss. I’d like to know what others think and discern. I feel like we learn best through speaking with God and through others’ experiences with Him. I hope whoever this reaches is viewed not as blasphemy but as innocent ignorance. I appreciate you and pray God blesses each of you abundantly.

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